openness at psalm 38.

"All my longings lie open before you, Lord,

for you know what I long for;

my sighing is not hidden from you,

you hear my every sigh."

 

Although I merged two versions of Psalm 38:9 (the NIV and NLT) to make the verse above, I hope it's not against some "bible law" to do this.  When I read this scripture last night it made me think about how I have been feeling for a couple of days now.

 

All my longings from the haven't-seen-it-come-to-pass dreams, my maybe-this-is-unrealistic hopes, and my I'm-almost-there yearnings, they aren't capable of standing before the Lord.  They're like the cry of this psalmist: needed to be found lying open before the Lord (which I am learning is almost a form of its own kind of discipline and worship to the King).

 

My feet are weak.  My knees are giving out... and I'm found many nights now sprawled open on the ground or on my bed kissing the air with my deep sighs.  I lay and ponder if He really hears the things I cannot put into words.  I ponder if I'm really His beloved, would He touch the places that I can't seem to make better.  I ask whether His ability to love me will hold me securely, will it keep me, will it fulfill me and be more than enough.

 

And through this small verse that's crawled into my heart, I am reminded He hears my every sigh, my every prayer, my every doubt, my every thought.  He has not forgotten me.  He hasn't stopped listening.  He hasn't stopped speaking.

 

Take heart for He is strong and faithful.  He is good.

 

What are you laying open before the Lord?